Today I Lost

Today was Founder’s Day at Delaware Valley University (previously known as Delaware Valley College). Every year, a senior is honored with the Founder’s Day Award – the most prestigious award of the college given to a student who embodies leadership and evokes a positive influence on the campus community. I had been nominated, received an interview, and thought that I did really well. I didn’t.

Though I didn’t win the Founder’s Day Award, despite having founded Colleges Against Cancer here on campus, as well as serving as the Chair of Relay for Life, serving as Student Government Board secretary, serving as VP of Chemistry Club, tutoring kids with learning disabilities, completing leadership development courses through the school, and working while maintaining 19 credits each year (oh, and graduating in three years), I was still told that due to being on Dean’s list every semester here, I’d be given an award. I wasn’t

As it turns out, they forgot me. I thought that I had made this profound impact on the campus, when in reality, I haven’t. I was hoping that I’d gain recognition for all of the work that I’ve done here, but I haven’t and I won’t. And while I’d love to say that at least with Relay, I have the knowledge that my efforts have contributed to helping people fight back against cancer, but each meeting with my American Cancer Society rep is just a reminder that we haven’t reached our fundraising goal yet, we’re not prepared for our event, not enough people are signed up, etc.

Yes, I got into vet school (and finally committed to Ohio State), but I’d like to think that I’m not leaving this university without having made a difference. To be honest, I don’t feel that I have. There’s nothing that’s made me feel like what I’ve done has bettered anyone’s life here. I sacrificed so much to do what I’ve done. Working this hard, I haven’t had enough time to make mistakes or memories. It’s feeling like a massive waste.

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